Vietnam Adoption Story Our Journey to Maggie
Part 3 of 3
By Erin Henderson
The G&R took place on January 7. We went to the orphanage in a cab and picked up the director and then went to the Justice Department and sat for 2 hours before they finally called us in. It literally took less than 5 minutes! I just signed a few different places and that was it. Certainly not the big event I had thought that it would be.
I got special "permission slips" to take Maggie out of the hospital so that we could do things to help get us ready to go home. One day we took her to apply for her passport and get her visa photos taken and another day we took her to Cho Ray hospital for her INS exam. It was always great to have her with me and without an audience, but it was bittersweet because I always knew that I would be giving her back again.
At her Cho Ray exam she weighed in at 9lbs 2 oz, only a few ounces bigger than her brothers were at birth!
Finally, during my visit on Wednesday afternoon, I got the news I was waiting for. I was told that I could have her with me for good on Friday morning, which is when we were scheduled to go to INS. She had had a chest x-ray and her lungs were clear and they finally felt that she was well. I knew that the head doctor was very glad that she was being adopted and he asked me several times if I was really taking her back to America when she was well and when I said yes he would smile at me so big. It was great to see her people so happy about her adoption.
When I arrived at the hospital on Thursday morning for my visit the doctor quickly found me and told me that after Maggie's afternoon dose of medicine that he would let me take her for good! I was so happy and it was so unexpected that I cried right there. I had a few hours to go back to the hotel and get the room ready for my baby, and then I arrived back at 2pm to pick her up. It took a little while to get the paperwork done, but finally they came and took out her IV port and gave us her discharge slip and told us we could go! I could barely see through the tears when I carried her out of that place. It was amazing to know that she was really, finally with me for good. Our G&R date was Jan 7 but our "gotcha date" will always be Jan 10 for me!
Back at the hotel Maggie slept on the bed while I clipped her toenails and fingernails and checked her out from head to toe. When she woke up she drank a bottle and I gave her a bath in the sink. She never once cried, just looked around from me to everything else and then back to me. She really enjoyed getting rubbed down with lotion and having her hair brushed. It was wonderful to take care of her! I was kind of worried that her hair would still stand up, but as soon was I washed it and brushed it, it laid down all pretty around her face.
We never had an adjustment phase or rough night or anything like that, probably because she was so young. I would say that it took about 48 hours for her to look at me like I was her mom though. At first I could lay her on the bed and she would just be happy whether or not I sat there with her. She would smile at me once and awhile and look at me lots and lots and enjoyed the attention, but you could just tell that she was used to people walking away from her all day.
But once we had been together for almost 48 hours she decided that she did not want me to leave her and she would fuss when I put her down or walked away or let someone else hold her. It was wonderful! We bonded very, very fast and we were truly mother and daughter in no time at all!
Friday we submitted our paperwork to the INS but the officer was in Bangkok which meant that we could not have our interview until Monday, and our flight was scheduled for Tuesday morning! I spent the whole weekend worrying about whether or not we were going to be able to get Maggie's visa, the only thing not yet done at that point, so on Tuesday so we could go home.
Monday morning we went to INS and were told that Mr. Sells was not in yet and we should come back in the afternoon. We were crushed, since that meant there was no way that I would ever get her visa that day. We decided to sit around and catch him on his way in, and at 10am he came in. He talked to us for a minute and we explained our situation and he said he would see if he could squeeze us in. He went back into his office and after just a few moments called me back. I was VERY nervous! He was all business and knowing how important this interview was, I was quite intimidated. He asked me lots and lots of questions about when I saw Maggie, who submitted my paperwork, what I knew about her birth family, where I had visited her, whom I had dealt with and that sort of stuff. He seemed to be satisfied with my answers and was very businesslike but polite at the same time.
I asked him if there was any way we could get Maggie's visa that day and he said no, that I wouldn't interview at the Consulate until the next morning and then I would probably have her visa Tuesday afternoon or Wednesday. So we went to the Cathay Pacific office and tried to change my ticket by 48 hours and HOLY COW! They told me that the first available seat was on Feb 19! That was over a month away! It was almost Tet and all of the flights were packed.
So we went back to the hotel and phoned the Consulate and explained our situation and asked if there was any way we could interview that afternoon and have Maggie's visa printed. They told us that they would call us back in 20 minutes, so we sat for a very LONG 20 minutes. When they finally called us back they said that if they got the paperwork from the INS then we could come over right away for our interview! So we called INS back and explained that the Consulate said that they would help us if they had our INS approval as soon as possible, and they agreed to get it over there for us. I will always be grateful to the INS and the Consulate for helping us out that day and helping us get back home to our family!
We did interview at the Consulate and Maggie's visa was in our hand at 4:30 that afternoon. I emailed everyone and called home to let them know that we would be coming home the next day!
It was a bit awkward to go back to the Evergreen and tell the IMH families that we had gotten her visa in just one day and were going home, when they were stuck there for so long, but they were kind to us and said that they were happy for us and wished us well.
Part of me was sad to be leaving Vietnam and the wonderful people. I know that I will miss that place very much until the day we return as a family. I wish very much that Josh and the boys could have made the journey with me. The flights home were actually very nice. At 3 months of age Maggie was very content to lie in my lap and either look at me, drink a bottle or sleep, and I can honestly say that she did not cry at all. I carried her in the Snuggle through the airports, had a backpack on my back and two big, wheeled suitcases. We were quite the sight!
We
have now been home with our family for almost a month and we could not be
happier. Maggie fell right into our family like she knew she belonged here.
Her very first night with her Dad she took right to him! And her brothers
are a constant source of entertainment and affection. They all adore her.
Almost everyone that sees her comments on how tiny she is, but she has already
put on over a pound and she is sleeping through the night and is very, very
healthy.
It has been amazing to watch her blossom. She has found her voice, figured out how to use her hands and continues to grow and develop every day. She is very clingy to her Mom and Dad! She usually will let others hold her but she certainly has her times when only one of us will do. Lots of people have told us that it is obvious that she knows who her parents are! I still look at her and just cry with all of the feelings that I have for her, and in relief that she is really home. She is the daughter that I prayed for, and we love her with all of our hearts.
Our adoption journey was a 9-month journey of faith, much like my pregnancies with the boys. Maggie's coming into our family has been just as much of a miracle as the births of the boys, if not more so for me. There were so many days that we worried and stressed and cried about whether we would be able to afford it or whether it was really going to happen or whether or not she was ok or when she was going to come home. But all of our prayers were answered and she is worth all that we went through and much more. She is certainly the baby that was meant to be with us. When people ask Josh about her, he answers that, "She's perfect!".
The children of Vietnam will always be in my heart. It is my greatest wish that our adoption will inspire others to go on an adoption journey of their own. It is a journey that can be long and hard in many ways, but the miracle waiting at the end makes it a journey worth making indeed.
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